


The Great Escape

by LoversSpit400



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Post-Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2020-10-26 13:09:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20742716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoversSpit400/pseuds/LoversSpit400
Summary: AU Where the gate was closer sooner and nobody died, although Billy was presumed dead for a year when actually he was the american in the end of season 3. Now he’s back in Hawkings and is up to the party to find out why and how.





	1. Drunk Problem

Hopper was sitting on his desk about to call it a day. It was almost a year after the Starcourt Mall Fire like the rest of the town knew. A year after he and Joyce closed the gate and after that he fought a russians and the cavalry came to their rescue. 

He was living with Joyce as his cabin in the woods were destroyed by an interdimensional monster his daughter was almost able to defeat. Just like his cabin, the town apparently never really got over the deaths, how could they? Kids, teens and older people inexplicably started to act weird around their families and then were killed in a mall that was supposed to be closed. 

Hopper couldn’t help but notice the sad and empty eyes around the town. People started to leave and now in some streets most of the houses were for sale or just abandoned. Joyce wanted to, but he was able to convince her that they were better together. 

Almost a year later and he still thought about it every day. Now he was sharp, he was always ready for the next big hit. The next big disaster. He let out a deep breath and decided that for today it wouldn’t come. He would grab his things and go home and have dinner with his girlfriend (maybe?), his daughter and her kids. They would be happy about the normal they have. 

When he was about to leave the office Flo called his name, announcing that a lady saw a drunk young boy wandering around the main street. He sighed again and told her that he would look at that on his way home. Gave his goodnight to the people still working, grabbed his car and drove.  
The street was completely dark, so he drove slowly fearing to miss the boy he is supposed to be looking for. It’s a wendesney’s night and anyone drunk at 8 p.m must mean trouble. 

Around 3 miles he found what he was looking for. A tall, skinny shadow appeared in the road as he increased the headlights so he would call it’s attention, but he could see that the person was way too focused on his goal to care about it. So he stopped the car and watched as the boy couldn’t keep a straight line for his life as he stumbled around the road. 

Hopper walked out of the car when the boy fell on his knees on the asphalt. The headlights were still the only source of light in the road, and Hopper tried not to block it as he walked closer to the boy that tried, with success, to get back on his feet. 

Coming closer the Chief noticed that the boy was wearing a hospital gown, his hair was shaved. So, Hopper heart started to pound on his chest, and each step was leading him closer to a heart attack. 

“Hey kid, are you okay?” He spoke firmly. 

No response came. The figure stopped moving as if he tried to make himself invisible, his muscles tensed up and Hopper could have sworn that it’s breathing stopped as well. 

“What’s your name?” 

Silence. 

Hopper came closer and knelt to the ground in front of it. 

“I’m not going to hurt you, ok?” 

When the boy’s blue eyes met his brown ones, he felt like puking, like the ground beneath him were simply gone in a moment. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. His eyes still hadn't left the boy in front of him. 

“Billy?” The older man said in a whisper. When he got no reaction at all from the boy in front of him he spoke a little louder. “Billy? Is that you?” 

Billy gave him something close to a nod, but so small he almost missed it. 

There was a moment of silence between them, that was only broken when Billy collapsed on the asphalt again, Hopper tried to catch him and was fast enough to avoid his head touching the hard ground. Awkwardly he adjusted his position and carried Billy bridal style to his car. The boy was so light now that it was easier than he thought. 

He put Billy on the passenger seat, maybe way too rough, radioed the station letting them know that the “drunk teenager problem” was solved. Barely did they know that was only the beginning. 

The drive home was almost entirely made by him looking at Billy, checking if he wouldn’t just disappear by his side like a hallucination and checking his pulse, just for confirmation that he was still alive. 

When he parked the car on the driveway he took a deep breath again and thought about what he was going to say. He walked out and yelled for help then, afraid that if he left Billy alone for a moment he would just go away and it all would have been just a proof that he was losing his mind. 

So when Joyce, Eleven and Will came running towards him and stopped on theirs tracks when they saw there was someone in the passenger seat he thanked all the gods that he wasn’t the only one going insane. 

Eleven and Will reached the passenger's door in the moment that Joyce gave him a confused look as if asking “What is this?” He couldn’t say he knew.  
He helped the kids as they took Billy still unconscious from the car and carried him to the living room, now, carefully laying him on the couch.  
“This is Billy” Eleven said carefully analysing her face. 

“Hopper…” Joyce started not really knowing how to finish her sentence. “How?” 

“Found him walking on the road” Now with the proper lights he really saw Billy. There were scars on his hands as well as wounds probably from the fall in the asphalt. He was bare feet, and his knees was bruised as well. He was half of the size he once was, had a buzzcut now, the hospital gown he was wearing was dirty, covered in mud and dirty. 

When Eleven grabbed Billy’s hand, time stopped for everyone in the room on they all saw the 013 tattoo on his wrist.


	2. Don't lie to me about this

Billy opened his eyes and took a moment to adjust to the bright light that was focusing on him, almost blinding. Suddenly the headache that was part of him for months now got worse, to the point that he almost screamed in pain. 

He tried to touch his head but his hands were tied behind his back. He noticed he was setting in a chair in a wood room and the only thing he could see was the pole that was holding the spotlight in front of him. 

“No, no, no it’s not possible”. He screamed in his brain. “I got away. I got away. I’m back. I got away.” He kept repeating on his head, ‘til his chest tightened and he could feel the panic attack coming. The world started spinning way too fast and the nausea hit him way too strong. The walls started to close on him and the air wasn’t reaching his lungs. 

He fought the ties against his arms and legs the best he could. He threw himself forward trying to break the ties but the only thing he managed was to fall on his face in the cold floor. 

A sound of a door being open called his attention, the cold air of the night touched his skin and if he was just a little more lucid he would have noticed that the air in his cell never smelled like this, never felt alive like this. But lying on the floor, with sobs coming out of his mouth there were only such things he could do, so for the millionth time, he started to beg. It’s not like he had anything left. 

His eyes tried to find the direction the sound came, pleading for any form of help or release from his suffering. He could’ve sworn he had left, but now he was back, being just an experiment, a mouse lab without a name, history, value or future. 

A small woman rushed into the room, running towards him. But instead of anger or the usual indifference the guards had towards him, she looked worried, she looked like she might help him. She sat on the floor next to him, he was her hand come towards his face and he couldn’t help but brace himself for the impact, but instead, she stroked him so gently that for a moment his breathing stopped. 

He looked at her in disbelief. “Billy, you’re okay. You’re in Hawkings. You’re fine.” He heard the words coming out of her mouth in such a sweet and reassuring way that he let himself believe for a moment that it was true.

“Joyce stay away from him!” He heard a strong voice say to her. The voice didn’t sound angry, mostly worried, what was strange for a guard’s voice to sound as well. He wanted to tell the voice’s owner to shut up, to let him have this little moment for a while longer, and although he didn’t remember everything he had done when the shadow had him, he knew that the voice was probably right. 

“Hopper free him now! He’s scared!” The woman screaming looking over her shoulder towards the door. 

“He did the same things with the kids at the sauna!” The man yelled back. 

Billy remembered the sauna, the unbearable heat that weakened the shadow just enough for him to apologize to Max and try to explain that he was a mean person, but he could never have done what he did. He would never kill Heather, never brings kids, elders and people he knew or even strangers to their deaths. But it did it anyways. So it was valid that the man was yelling. 

“You are the one who brought him in. If he was still flayed he already would’ve killed us or do you think this duct tape is enough to hold him back?” The woman yelled firmly now. 

There was a moment of silence and he could feel the ground beneath his face shake a little when the footsteps got louder and louder. There was a noise behind his back as if someone just opened a switchblade and Billy closed his thinking that maybe that was going to be it. A cut in his throat or maybe a stab in the heart were good ways to go, maybe he wouldn’t feel any more pain. So he looked at the woman in front of him and closed his eyes. 

Soon his arms were free, as well as his legs. He could move again and when he opened his eyes again he saw the lady in front of him giving him a reassuring smile and saying “It’s over. Don’t worry, you’re safe.” over and over again to him. 

Although he was free he still didn’t dare to move, kept his position ‘til someone said it was alright for him to move. 

“Kid, do you know what happened?” The male voice asked. He didn’t want to take his eyes off the lady, but he had learned that whenever someone asks you a question you answer looking the person in the eyes. “It’s disrespectful!” A voice he could almost recognize yelled in the back of his brain.   
So he slowly adjusted his position, letting the people in the room know he wouldn’t do them no harm. 

From the floor, the man looked even more intimidating. He looked like he was at least 6’2 feet tall, strong enough to kill Billy with his bare hands if he wanted to, so Billy looked at him in the eyes and shook his head. “Words, I need words” The doctor would say to him. 

“Нет сэр” He spoke for the first time and his voice almost didn’t come out. It’s been a while since he used it. 

When the man gave a confused look to the woman, Billy wanted to punch himself. They were talking in english to him, of course they would want an answer in english. He looked terrified at the man as if he wanted to ask for forgiveness but not knowing what would happen if he did. 

“Hey, that’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. Let’s just try again, ok?” The man spoke almost calmly now. 

“No, sir.” Billy said strong as he could. Reassuring the other man. Billy felt a hand going up and down his back, as if it was caressing him. He looked at his side and the woman as doing it, when their eyes met she smiled at him. 

“Are you cold? Do you need a blanked?” The woman spoke to him again. 

“Yes.” He said, at least in the right language now. 

The man and the woman looked at each other again, this time almost agreeing in something and she got up to leave and it took all Billy’s strength to grab her by the arm and plead for her to stay, to keep his company a little longer. As if she knew he heard she say “I’ll be right back” and the door closing. 

“So, what do you remember?” The man crouched down and was, for the first time, on par with Billy. 

It took a while for Billy’s brain to work. 

“I thought I escaped. I’m sorry.” The younger body got rigid, as waiting for some kind of punishment. 

“You escaped Billy. You’re in Hawkings.” 

Billy’s eyes went wide and in a second they were full of tears again, threatening to fall but he didn’t let them.

“Please, don’t lie to me about this.” He begged. 

“Oh…” Hopper was speechless. “I’m not. I’m chief Hopper, I met you a couple of years ago, I gave you a speeding ticket because you were at 90 on a 40.” 

Billy looked as if he was trying to remember if it really happened. When his brain remembered that it actually happened he tears came rushing down, as waves. He could almost feel the rush in his stomach as his Camaro ran down the road and the trees passed by faster and faster on his side. He could few the awful smell Hawkings had. How he tapped the steering wheel in the same rhythm as the song he was listening. How mad he was when he heard the police siren. And Hopper was there. The same man in front of him were there, in a good memory.

He was in Hawkings. He had made it. He finally escaped. He wanted to hug Hopper, to jump or maybe run just because he could. Instead, he curled himself and sobbed. 

“Tell me what happened to you.” Hopper demanded a little more serious now. 

Taking deep breaths, Billy recomposed himself and started talking.


	3. My story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... I tried to made it as realistic as possible in ST universe. Hope you enjoy it!

  
“I was going to a date.” Billy started with his voice ashamed. The door opened and the woman walked into the room and put a blanket around his shoulders, and for the first time in a year he felt warmer and almost comfortable. The lady sat by his side on the floor and waited for him to continue.  
  
“My car crashed and when I got out of the car something grabbed my leg and took me this place…” He had to stop for a moment and take a deep breath, he had a quick flashback about being dragged on the floor, his body hurting as he banged on every step of that goddamn stairs. Looking around the room the people in it patiently waited for him to continue. “There were this things…” he tried to imitate some claws with his hands. “Got into my mouth…” He felt his chest tightening again. “It held me down and when I was free of it I ran, tried to call 911 but the phone didn’t work.”

“Then I kind blacked out? I don’t know, I remember it always wanting to be colder so I tried to keep it cold because it hurt a lot being warmer...” He stopped again. “Maybe if I got warmer I could’ve expelled it sooner.” He said in a whisper, as if Hopper and Joyce weren't supposed to listen to it.

“Billy, just stick to the facts.” Hopper said when he noticed Billy had gone quiet and his eyes vacants, focusing on nowhere.

Billy came back from his own head and nodded to Hopper. Took another deep breath.

“Next thing I know I’m at the mall and this kid is making me think of my mom and then I tried to stop it, but clearly it didn’t work.” He ended it with a small chuckle, remembering the pain of every tooth of the thing entering his body, how his shirt turned black _“god I bled black.”_ he thought at the same time a voice inside his head told him he wasn’t human anymore. He remembered how he waited for the final hit to come, to finish it, but it never did.

  
The monster started to walk back and at the moment it did, his veins started to burn. There were not an inch of his body that wasn’t in pain, it was dying just like the monster._ “You’re the monster.”_ He reminded himself.

  
“You brought us more time, just enough for us to close the gate where it came from and kill it.” The lady said in a secure way pulling him back to reality.

  
“So the last thing I remember is holding my last breath and telling Max…” He stopped again. Max, she saw him die and then she was alone, _“she’s not like you, she has friends and people who care about her.”_ Before Hopper could snap him out of it he shook his head and continued “I told her I was sorry.”

  
“But that was not the end right?” Hopper asked him.

  
“I woke up in this hospital… But wasn’t really a hospital, it was a facility or something. There were a lot of people surrounding me, just one of them spoke english though. I stood there for a while I don’t know how long, but it probably ‘til my wounds were patched. Then they gave me a tattoo and threw me into my cell.” He told them as he showed the 13 in his arm.

  
“You know who the one who spoke english was?” Hopper asked.

  
“The man that… controlled me… handle me or whatever… He was this old white man, he had white hair, he was tall-”

  
“Excuse me? White hair?” Hopper interrupted him.

  
“Y-yes.”

  
Before Billy could say anything he noticed that Hopper was agitated and anxious than ever, he kept looking at the lady who looked worried as Hopper now. It’s like they had a part of the puzzle Billy didn’t knew has missing.

  
“Do you know his name?” Hopper asked way more fast now, almost saying all the words at once.

  
“They never used their names in front of me. Sorry.”

"Where is he now?" Hopper asked in a harsh tone. 

"Dead, I expect." Billy told him, his voice filled with hate. 

  
“So… In the cell. What they done to you?” The woman asked away more calm then Hopper.

  
“Some experiments… Threw me in the cold room, then in the hot room… They tested my blood I think. They had a monster.”

  
“Monster?” Hopper and the woman said in union.

  
“Yeah. Like a smaller version from the big one I created. He…” Billy memories went back to fighting the thing over and over again just to test his limits, remember seeing some prisoners like him being fed like dog food to it How he swore he would not go down like that. “He was as tall as a man, but walked on four legs, maybe? I don’t know if that were really legs. But his face opened like a flower-”

  
“A demodog” Hopper whispered to the woman.

  
“I-I don’t know the name. I’m sorry.”

  
Hopper, never in his wildest dreams would’ve thought of hearing the infamous Billy Hargrove saying so much that he was sorry, and looking like he meant it. Jim remembered how when Billy came to town he thought all of his problems had increased. After the boy the reports on vandalism, assault, underage drinking spiked and even an arson were brought to the station. Although they all had a suspect, Billy was too smart and got away with most of it. Now, the boy sitting in front of it, didn’t look like he was capable of hurting a fly.

  
Billy was looking at him, like he was waiting for permission to talk again. So he nodded at the boy.

  
“They put me to fight it sometimes…” Joyce huffed something like _oh my god_.

  
“Kid, how did you got back to Hawkings?”

  
Billy thought of saying the truth. Saying he killed almost 20 men with his mind and took control of the men with white hair’s mind and made him bring him back to Hawkings through a portal, a short cut as he would’ve heard someone once say. But he decided against, he couldn’t confess to a cop he was a murder, it was trading a cell of another.

  
“I pretended I was dead. They gave me some shit that slowed down my heart beat, but they probably didn’t know it. I took advantage of it. When they were taking my body to incinerate I was able to run away” This part wasn’t a lie, that’s how the massacre started. “Hid myself and I was able to sneak into a truck. Jumped off of it when I saw Hawkings sign.” That wasn’t a lie either. Just way simpler way to explain that he came back into an abandoned lab in the middle of nowhere in Hawkings.

  
There were a moment of silence in the room. Billy decided that Hopper and the woman were questioning themselves if they should arrest Billy now or in the morning.

  
“Billy.” The woman’s voice cut through the silence and he couldn’t help but feel a little weird not being called тринадцать (Thirteen) again. “Get up and let’s find you a couch to sleep.”

  
Billy couldn’t help but to be shocked.

  
Hopper and the woman got up from the floor they were in and stared at him, waiting for him to do the same.

  
Slowly the teen got up, leaning on the pole that was close to him. His legs were shaking too much for his liking and Hopper put his arms around Billy’s waist and helped him to get on his feet. In that moment the teen realize that he was still on his dirty hospital gown and the rush of nausea and disgust of himself fell on him.

  
“You good to go?” Hopper asked. Still holding him.

  
“Yeah. I need a shower, if that’s okay.”

  
The woman nodded.

  
After they gave a few steps and were about to walk through the door, the lady stopped. “My name is Joyce by the way.” She gave him a small smile. “And I need to warn you about the kids.” 


	4. Family Dinner

The three of them walked into the living room of the Byers house. They house was small and the living room consisted in a small TV, a coffee table and a couch where Will Byers and Eleven where sitting, looking like they were hiding something. Probably the fact they were looking through the window what was happening on the outside. 

Billy was still having a hard time standing on his own feet, so he let Hopper help him. Joyce following close by. 

The Chief nodded to Will and Eleven to get up from the couch what they quickly did, almost looking like it was lava. Billy was sat in it in gentler than he expected. The kid’s eyes still hadn’t left him and he tried no to think about it too much. Just like he was trying not to think that the last time he was there he almost killed Steve. Before the possession, before the real monster. Just him and his anger. 

“So… What happened?” Will asked looking at his mom and Hopper. Eleven waited for an answer as well. 

“Short story: I didn’t die and ended up in a lab. Ran away and now I’m back.” Billy said in a confident way, Hopper almost let himself forget that the boy saying those words like they were nothing had a panic attack waking up and almost three as he told his history.  _ Let him act then.  _ Hopper thought. 

Will and Eleven looked shocked, not looking at him again. 

“Billy, you want that shower now?” Joyce asked him in a sweet way, almost not looking like she wanted time alone with the kids. 

“Yeah I just…” The teen thought about everything he had his life right now was the dirty hospital gown he was wearing that would probably go to trash the moment it left his body. 

“Don’t worry, Jonathan left some clothes here that I think will fit us just fine.” 

Not even in the lowest points of his life he thought that he would end up wearing Jonathan Byers hand-me-down. But here he was. 

Slowly he got up from the couch and again he needed Hopper help to walk and guide him to the bathroom. When they got into the bathroom door, that was a moment of hesitation in Hopper not knowing if he was supposed to walk into or no. But the way Billy opened the door and expect him to help him into the bathtub all his doubts were solved. 

As soon as the door was closed, Hopper sat Billy in the toilet as the water filled the bathtub. He stared at the water for a while, trying to think straight for a moment, when he turned around, Billy was naked behind him, leaning on the wall so he could stay on his feet as the hospital gown was now on the floor. 

The were no shame in the teen’s face. No sign of this being an uncommon thing to happen. The Chief’s brain took a second to digest it. 

“Oh my god! Kid, cover yourself! Please, a little warning was going to be fine” Hopper said as fast as possible. Only later that night he realized he had screamed the words out. 

Billy kicked himself mentally.  _ In the lab it was normal, not here.  _ He wasn’t there anymore, he wasn’t some asset to be used and cleaned once it got the job done. He wasn’t thirteen anymore. 

“I’m sorry… I-” He started to form his apology. 

“No, it’s no problem. Just don’t go doing it in front of everyone okay?” 

When Billy nodded Hopper guided him talking some steps towards the bathtub and sat him there. When his feet stepped under the hot water, the younger boy couldn’t help but to let out a groan as the water surrounded his sore muscles. There were the pain again, but different from the last couple of times, it was good, it was relaxing, it meant he won. Feeling like he was interrupting a private moment, Hopper said if Billy ever needed anything he just needed to scream it out. 

Billy nodded and when the door was closed one more time he let the water cover his ears and stood there just listening to his heartbeat. He placed his hand over his chest and listened to the steady rhythm saying he was alive. On the bathtub his tears were almost invisible. 

On the other side of the door, Hopper made his way to the living room. 

Joyce were in front of the couch talking to the kids already. He sat on the armchair beside them, massaging the bridge of his nose. The room fell quiet and they all waited for someone to break the silence. 

“He was in lab… So it’s back?” Eleven asked. 

“We don’t know. I feel like he’s hiding something, his history has a lot of blanks.” Hopper looked right at her eyes. “But he said something that made me worry.” The room fell silent. 

“Brenner is back and behind what happened to Billy.” 

“That isn’t much of a surprise.” Will said. 

“Will we wait for the thing to come?” Eleven said. 

Hopper wasn’t sure if she meant Brenner or the Monster. 

“Right now we are going to sleep. That’s what we are going to do. We need to have more information, know where Billy was and if he’s hiding something.” Joyce said looking at Hopper. 

“You think he still has the Mind Flayer in him?” Will asked, slightly worried. 

“No. I think he’s just… Different.” Joyce told him before getting up. “I’m gonna check on him and give him some clothes.” She said leaving the room. 

They all stopped talking and looked at each other. 

“We need to call Max.” Eleven said. 

“Tomorrow.” Hopper said. 

“But it’s her brother!” Eleven objected. 

“He needs to rest. We all need to rest. Tomorrow morning we call Max and the rest of the kids.” 

In that moment Joyce came back and in a few minutes, Billy walked behind her, without needing any help but still slower and less confident than he used to. He was wearing a dark green T-Shirt and an old jeans that belonged to Jonathan, now in NYC with Nancy. The clothes looked weird on him, but still better than the hospital gown. 

When he walked into the living room, the tension around it increased way more than it already was. Billy looked around the room and and nodded to the people around. 

“Are you hungry?” Joyce calmly asked him. 

Billy’s stomach made a huge noise, and he was about to be embarrassed by it, but he remembered that it was almost a year that he didn’t have any proper food.  _ Screw it.  _ He needed anything other than the vitamins they gave to him by an IV and the disgusting soup or the even worse porridge. Anything right now looked better than it. 

He nodded at Joyce and sat by the kitchen table. 

“It’s dinner time. Come on!” 

Billy looked at the clock on the wall and it was already past midnight. He had lost the count of days, but he thought it must be something close to may.  _ Don’t these kids have school? _ . 

Joyce put a lasagna casserole in the middle of the table and gave plates and forks and knives to everyone. The kids served themselves first, Billy following close by. Hopper and Joyce were the last ones. 

Billy swallowed a piece and the flavors of it exploded into his mouth. He could barely chew the others pieces, his stomach begged for more. He didn’t know he was so hungry, and without noticing, soon his plate was clean. So he just took another piece of it and put on his plate, not caring that the rest of the people in the table weren’t even half done and looking at him in shock. As well as he didn’t hear Hopper telling him to slow down or he would get sick. 

He needed food. He craved for it. 

By the time he felt full, everyone was looking at him. He felt like he couldn’t breath and Eleven was offering the last piece of lasagna on her plate. He shook his head denying it and meant to help Joyce to clean the table but the exhaustion had caught him. 

His eyes were closing and he felt like he couldn’t move a muscle. Hopper spoke something he couldn’t understand and he pointed to the couch. 

Billy stumbled in its direction and thanking whatever god there was for it to be close to the kitchen’s table. He slept before his head even touched the pillow. 


	5. Reunions I

When the morning came, Billy felt the sunlight on his face coming from the window and kept his eyes closed for a moment, not wanting to wake up in his cell again. But it was never warm in his cell. 

Slowly his eyelids opened and looked around the room. Memories from last night came rushing and he let himself be relieved for a moment. He never would’ve thought that Hawkings would be a place where he felt relieved and safe, of all things. A anLL smile formed in his face. 

He let himself be relaxed for a small moment and enjoy it, noticing for the first time that a blanket had been put in him. He smiled, thinking that someone cared enough about him to worry about him getting cold. 

With a deep breath he put his feet on the floor, put his hand on his knees and searched for any sign of life in the house. He walked to the kitchen and saw a note on the table “we went to work/school, food is in the fridge.” 

His stomach was kinda hurting from last night so he decided against the food for now. 

There was a phone in the wall. He took it and dialed the number he knew by heart, his heart was beating so hard it was hurting his chest. It rang for a moment and then a voice he dreamed about hearing every night was on the other side.

“Hello?” 

“Stevie?” Billy’s voice came out way more shaky and wet then he expected. 

“Who is it?” Steve voice now was serious and suspicious. 

“Baby, it’s me. Billy.” 

There was silence on the other side of the line. It took Billy a moment to realize that Steve ended the call. He called again. 

“Don’t hang up!” He said as soon as he noticed the Steve had picked up. 

“Look. If this is some sick joke I don’t want to hear it, okay?” Now Steve’s voice was wet and full anger. 

“Please! Please! It’s me! We kissed for the first time a week after the snow ball thing! We were sitting in the quarry and I was drunk so I kissed you first. You didn’t speak for me for days after that and I freaked out, but then you came back.” 

The line was silent but Billy could hear Steve fast breathing on the other side of it. 

“Then I went down on you.” Billy couldn’t help but chuckle. “I told you I loved you when we were having sex for the first time and thank god you said it back. It’s me. Stevie, it’s me.” Billy was in tears now. 

“Billy?” That was almost a whisper. 

“Yeah.” 

No words were said for a while and only sobs were heard on the line. 

“Where are you?” Steve asked. 

“At Byers.”

The line went dead, but this time Billy knew that Steve was coming to find him. And he thought he felt like his heart was going to jump off his chest. 

He used to hallucinate about Steve bursting through the door and saving him. Hear his voice when he was out of it, telling him that he loved him, about the plans they had once Billy was 18. California, an apartment to themselves, a good job. He hang on that when they were hurting in, letting him alone in a dark room for days. He used to think about their future together.

In record time he heard a car motor cut through the silence and his thoughts. He ran through the window, already recover. He wouldn’t say that to Hopper or Joyce, but he got weak every time he used his powers. And he used a lot of it. Maybe he would never say to Hopper and Joyce that he had powers now for starts. But now, he was glad that he healed faster. 

Steve turned off the car and even ran out of it, eyes searching for something inside the house. Billy opened the door and ran towards Steve that was still wonderstruck by the man in front of him. Billy noticed that Steve wasn’t moving, so he gave a step back. 

Steve looked like he didn’t recognize him. From all of the times Billy imagined they meeting again, this wasn’t like it. Steve stood by his car, staring at him like he could pierce a whole in his skin. That was when Billy realized he wasn’t the same Billy Steve knew fell in love. 

He was skinnier, his hair was gone, his hands had scars from where he held the mind flayer, as well as his abdomen, he was wearing Jonathan Byers clothes.  _ God, you’re so beautiful.  _ He remembered Steve saying this to him one night, now it didn’t apply to the case. 

So he just stood there, looking at Steve a few feet away, shallowing the not in his throat and holding back the tears. 

“Hey, pretty boy.” He said, trying his best not to cry. 

Finally Steve took a step towards him and another and another. Soon he was in front of Billy, but Billy didn’t dare to touch him, he just stood there. Heavy breathing. 

Steve touched his face, gently as always. Analyzed every single detail of it, then looked straight into his eyes. 

“Billy…” Steve now had tears streaming down his face. 

“Yeah” Although it wasn’t a question, Billy felt like assuring him. “I’m not the monster anymore.” He happily added with tears streaming down his face already. His chest was burning, he wanted to hug Steve, but didn’t want to startle him, so he held still. 

“Never was.” 

Steve threw his arms around Billy and  _ finally  _ they were able to hug each other. They held each other tight, Billy burying his face on Steve’s neck, smelling his cologne, messing his T-Shirt with tears. Steve was doing the same, hands almost pinching Billy so he could now he was real, that it wasn’t a dream. 

Steve let him go and cupped his head, making the other boy stare at him. “You’re real.” 

“I’m” Billy laughed a little. 

“You’re alive.” Steve still had tears rolling down his face. 

“I’m” Billy’s smile mixed with his tears. 

Steve leaned his head a little bit, and Billy kissed him. Enjoying every single second of it. The taste of their tears, the way Steve mouth moved, how they lips felt when closed together. Billy classified that as the best kiss he ever had. 

“I missed you so much.” Billy told him, breaking the kiss and burying his head again on Steve’s neck. 

“I mourned you.” 

A knife had just entered on Billy’s heart and someone was twisting it. 

“What happened?” Steve said searching for his face. When he found it, Billy saw worry, anger, confusion and sadness in it. 

“Let’s get inside.” Billy reassured him. “I need to call my sister.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I know how to write gay love? No  
Will I write gay love? Yes


	6. Withdrawal

Billy tried to hold Steve’s hand, but the boy was faster and held him close by the arms. Putting him in a side hug, as he kissed Billy’s cheeks as if he was making sure Billy wouldn’t just vanish if he let go. 

They made their way to the house, now the distance between Steve’s car and the front door was so much shorter. As they walked side by side through Billy felt a wave of nausea hit him, but decided to put it in the list of things he was ignoring, under the shakiness and sweating. 

So they walked through the door and Steve looked at couch that had an unmade blanket and a pillow in it. 

“Are you sleeping in it?” 

“I slept last night.” 

“Since when are you here?”  
“Last night.” 

Steve nodded. A strange feeling rushed through his veins and he felt ashamed of himself for feeling jealous of the Byers for being the firsts to find and take care of Billy. He should be glad that his boyfriend were found by the nicest and more prepared people he ever knew, but he couldn’t help but wish he was there. 

“I need a favor” Billy broke them apart and sat on the couch. “I can’t call my place and risk my dad or someone else picking up-” 

“Yeah, I thought about it in the moment you told me you needed to call Max.” Steve told him, sitting by his side. 

Billy laughed a little looking up at Steve. 

“I miss-” before he could finish it, the wave of nausea made the food he had eaten yesterday come back, so he pushed Steve out of the way and ran as fast as he could to the toilet. Spilling his guts out. 

“Hey, are you okay?” He heard Steve’s voice behind him but he couldn’t be bothered. So instead of answering, he kept throwing up his guts out. 

Steve came closer and rubbed circles in Billy’s back. This wasn’t strange for Steve at all, usually happened after a few parties they went, they would come back to his place only so Steve could be woken up by the sounds coming from his bathroom. He would hold Billy’s hair back and offer him a cup of water after. 

When Billy was done, he just collapsed on the floor, eyes red and tears streaming down of it. Steve sat next to him. 

“Are you okay?” Steve asked now expecting for some kind of answer. 

Billy was still catching his breath, but nodded. 

“How long are you feeling bad?” 

Billy laughed at the question and Steve noticed how stupid it was. 

“For almost a year now.” 

“The was a stupid question. I know.” 

“Yeah. It was.” 

They both laughed at it, ‘til Billy curled himself around the toilet seat again and started all over. 

“I’m gonna grab some water for you.” 

Billy almost didn’t hear it as Steve got up and rushed to the kitchen. 

When he came back, Billy was flushing and coming back to his place on the ground. Steve handed him the water and watched as he cleaned his mouth with it and then drank what was left. 

“School is almost over. Do you want me to call Max in a few?” 

Billy shook his head. “No, I don’t want Max to see me like this…” 

His voice was heavy, as if his tongue wasn’t really functioning. The room started to spin again, and he fought it this time by closing his eyes and throwing his head back. Ignoring Steve worried eyes towards him. 

“I think it’s withdrawn.” Billy quietly said. His whole body was heavy and numb. He thought he couldn’t move his arms and legs anymore, so he just let it be. 

“From what?” Steve voice sounded even more worried now. 

“They-” This time he couldn’t stop the puke, so he just threw himself the best he could towards the toilet his with numb limbs. Mentally thanking Steve for getting up from the floor in a blink of an eye and pushing the rest of his body so he wouldn’t throw up all over himself. 

Again Steve easied him, this time assuring him that everything would be okay. If Billy wasn’t so busy getting dehydrataded he would’ve told the other body that this was the closest thing to okay he had gotten in a long time. 

When it was over and he felt like there was nothing else to leave his body, Steve flushed and rolled him back, as he felt like he didn’t have the energy to do so. When he felt Steve’s hands about to take his shirt off he let out a raspy “No”. 

Steve immediately stopped. Carefully looking at Billy pale, sweat and dirty face. He could barely see the other boy blue eyes because of the extremely dilated pupils. Taking a deep breath, he nodded. 

“But I need you to take a shower right now. Can you take your own shirt?” 

Billy felt the tears rolling down his cheeks. He could not, but above all he didn’t want Steve to see his scars. They were ugly and disgusting. Made him look away everytime, not wanting to face the marks of the worst time of life and even though he knew Steve, he knew that his boyfriend wouldn’t care, Billy knew that would make the other boy think less of him, like he was weak. He was, but he didn’t need it to be shown in the beautiful brown eyes staring back at him. 

Not waiting for an answer, Steve carefully started to lift his shirt, not wanting to startle or even hurt Billy. When he saw the marks on Billy’s body left by that night with the Mind Flayer, he tried his best to keep his chill and not gasp or cry about it. 

Billy’s abdomen was torn apart, what once was almost unmarked now was full of white and thick skin surrounding it, some or shaped like a flower, marking exactly where the tentacles hit him. Looking at it brought memories from that night, how Steve stood up there and watched. Couldn’t scream his name like Max, wasn’t able to run to him and hold his hand or hear his last words. He just stood there and watched as Max cried on Eleven’s lap. Only after the funeral he noticed that he never cried about it. 

He kept lifting the blond’s shirt and the scars didn’t seem to end but he swallowed his guilt and sorrow and asked Billy to put his arms’ up. When the shirt was gone and tossed on the floor, he thought that there was no point in taking Billy’s jeans off now and let them be. 

“Let’s get up really slowly, okay?” Steve said in the softest voice he could manage. 

Pulling Billy in the shower was easier than he expect. Billy had lost weight and now easier to carry him around, but somehow he managed to still be bigger than Steve. 

Once he laid the blonde in the bathroom floor and showered him, Steve noticed how almost unconscious Billy was. 

“Baby.” He said staring right back at him. “I need you awake okay?” 

“C’nt” Billy whispered. 

“What are you withdrawing? I need to know” 

Billy got around all the functioning parts of his body he could find. 

“A green stuff. Gave me strength.” 

Steve nodded.

Once the showered was done, Steve changed the other’s boy clothes and laid him on the closest bed he could find that he suspected it was Will’s. He didn’t know if Billy had passed out or exhaustion had caught him, either way he left the boy sleep in it. 

Looking for the phone he tried to think what Joyce’s work phone number was. Not really remembering he decided to call the police station. 

“Flo? Hi, this is Steve Harrington.” 

A few questions later he finally spoke to Hopper. 

“Hopper? Hi, hum… I’m at Joyce’s place.”

“Oh no” Steve could see the Hopper rolling his eyes and letting out a deep breath. 

“Yeah. Y’know… That thing right here is having a few problems and I need someone’s help because-” There was a loud screaming coming from the room he had just left Billy. “Shit. Hopper I need you to come here fast  _ please!”  _

Steve ran towards the room and found Billy curled up in bed, holding his stomach. 

“It hurts! AAAAAAAAAA!” Billy was screaming, turning and sweating in all over the sheets. 

Memories from the mall came rushing in Steve’s mind. Billy facing a monster made of human’s meat. Billy letting out the same scream he’s yelling right now as he was holding the monster with his bare hands. Once again he stood in the doorway, heavy breathing, frozen in his spot.


	7. Everybody's finds out

Something inside Steve snapped. What was in out of focus now was the only thing he could see crystal clear. So he ran out of his place on the doorway and made almost threw himself on Billy. 

Closer he could see how tears streaming down the blonde’s face. How he was making himself smaller on the bed by curling himself up, holding his stomach, and hissing in pain. His breathing was short and ragged, as if he was trying not to move his abdomen too much. The scene in front of him broke Steve’s heart in a million little pieces and he needed to take a second so he could catch his breath. 

“Help” Billy little plea took him out of his own thoughts and brought him to reality. Billy didn’t have a second, Billy needed him now. 

So Steve kneel down beside him and tried to roll him so he could see better what was happening, but the movement made Billy’s screams get louder. 

“Okay. Okay.” Steve’s thoughts were moving fast, he was completely lost, standing beside the bed, trying to help his boyfriend but not finding any solutions. 

“Steve!” Hopper’s sounded like the angels to him. 

“Right here!” 

Hopper came running into the room and soon was close to Steve. 

“What happened?” 

“He told me he’s withdrawing of something that gave him strengh.” 

“Goddamn!” Hopper sounded more worried than mad, and it made Steve even more worried. 

“He threw up a lot and now he’s like this.” Steve said pointing at the hurt boy on the bed. 

“Does he has any idea what they gave him?” Hopper spoke not taking his eyes off Billy. 

“No! Hopper we need to help him.” 

Hopper took a deep breath. 

“Steve, I’m afraid he can only let it make his way out of his system.” 

“What?” Steve felt rage coming into his veins. It was not possible that Hopper was seeing the same scene as he was and thinking about letting it happen. 

“If we don’t know what we’re treating, it’s safer than giving him something that could hurt him even more.” 

It made sense, but hearing Billy whimpering made it sound wrong. 

“Hop, I understand. But understand that he’s been through a lot, okay? He can’t just-” 

In that moment Billy’s retch caught everyone’s attention and both of the man standing up braced themselves to minimize the mess. Once the boy was done, Steve took his clothes once again as Hopper started to clean the room. 

“ I’m s’rry” Billy said, almost in a whisper. 

“That’s okay kid.” Hopper’s voice came from Steve’s back. 

Billy was clearly still in pain. Eyes shut and whimpering curled in the bed. Steve took his hand and held it, not caring about Hopper’s confused stare towards them. 

“WHERE IS HE?” Max’s voice filled the house. There were sounds of fasts footsteps coming down the hallway and Steve worried looked at Hopper who closed his eyes and massaged the bridge of his nose. 

The footsteps stopped at the bedroom’s door. When they looked at it, Max was standing still in it, hard breathing and eyes wandering around the room, going from Steve to Hopper. On the back, Hopper could see Eleven’s smile turning into worry as she looked for an explanation. 

The room fell silent with a heavy atmosphere in it as Max slowly came closer to the bed, looking at the boy in pain at it. Steve couldn’t help but look away, thinking how she had the exactly same expression on her face when Billy was about to die in Starcourt. 

“Is he dying?” She asked, voice shaking as much as she was. 

“No. He’s just sick.” Hopper answer her. 

Max’s eyes were fixed in Billy. Steve could’ve swear that she didn’t even blinked. 

“I need to talk to the both of you.” He turned around to look at the rest of the kids that gathered around in the doorway. “All of you.” 

When no one moved from their position Hopper considered yelling, but decided against for Billy’s sake. Trading it for a raspy “now”. 

Steve was the last one to come in the living room. He sat down beside Dustin who looked confused and surprised as the rest of the kids. 

Hopper told them everything Billy had told him, no skipping any details. Each new information feeling like a stab in Steve’s chest. He looked around the room only to see Max with tears non-stop coming down her cheeks as she was holding on Lucas. Apart from Steve and Max, and maybe Eleven and Will, the others kids seemed more worried about the fact that was a lab with demodogs in it than with that Billy had to go through in it. Steve didn’t blame them.

“What is happening with him right now?” Max asked. 

“They gave him something in there and now his body is missing it.” Hopper explained the best he could. 

“Is he going to die again?” Will asked this time. 

“No. It will probably gonna take a while, but I think he will be fine.” 

“Someone tested him to see if he’s still possessed?” Mike asked. 

Although that was a fair question, Steve couldn’t help but feel the anger bowling inside him. 

“No, but he wasn’t really bothered by the heat and I made sure to a hot bath once he came-” Hopper started. 

“So he could still be flayed?” Mike shouted. 

“This is bad! We can put him on a sauna again or just heat the room really bad-”

Steve heard Dustin talk really fast as well as the other kids. Lucas was saying that they were reckless, Will tried to defend Billy as well as Eleven who now was calling Mike “mouth breather.” 

“HE IS NOT POSSESSED!” Steve shouted, making everyone shut up. “I know him.” 

Steve took a deep breath and braced himself. 

“I was dating Billy for almost 9 months before the Mind Flayer.” He closed his eyes, not wanting to see their reactions. “I know him and when I came here… It was him, it was not tricking me or anything. It was him.” He said now assuring Max. 

“What?” Dustin said sounding like he was cheated by his wife in the middle of the wedding.

“It was a few time after the Snow Ball, he apologized and… It just happened.” 

“He almost killed you!” Lucas said. 

“We clarified it.” Steve looked at the floor, ashamed. 

The room fell silent, everyone was processing the information. Steve looked at Max who nodded at him, giving him a small smile. His heart felt a little warmer by it. 

The silence was cut by something falling in the room Billy was in. 

They all ran towards it, opening the door to find Billy having a seizure. Eyes rolled back and limbs going everywhere. Steve grabbed him by his left side, as Hopper took his right one. Holding him down so he couldn’t hurt himself so much. 

“Hey! Hey!” Hopper shouted, taking the kids off the trance they were in. “Someone find me anything that we can put in his mouth so he won’t gag! NOW!” 

They all left running and Lucas came back with a belt. 

“Put it in mouth, above his tongue!” When the kid didn’t move, it was Steve’s time to yell at him. 

They stood like this ‘til the seizure passed. Steve holding his left side, Hopper the left, and Lucas holding a belt steady. Once it was done Billy fell unconscious.

Hopper made sure to send all the kids home, feeling exhausted already. Will left with Mike as he bed was now occupied. Dustin left, but before he looked at Steve standing by Billy’s side for a while. Steve couldn’t look at him, not right now. Lucas tried to make Max go with him, but she stood her ground and said she “wouldn’t leave him again.” Taking a seat and holding Billy’s other hand. 

Once Steve was alone with Max in the room, they started to talk. 

“I knew about you guys for a while now.” She said and Steve couldn’t help but look surprised at her. 

“How long?” 

“Since when Billy was always trying to find an excuse to go to Scoops.” She laughed a little. 

“That obvious?” Steve giggled.

“Yeah” She smiled again. 

“We fought a days before… The Mind Flayer happened.” 

“Why?” 

“He...His dad were getting suspicious, so he came up with a plan of going out with some married woman or something like that, so it would’ve explained as his sneaking around and that kinda stuff.” Steve cringed thinking about the fight. “I told it was stupid and got really jealous… And mad… I thought that the last thing I’ve ever told him was “do whatever you want.” 

Max got quiet, knowing that the story wasn’t over. 

“When I found out he was possessed I didn’t even reacted. The last thing I did to him was T-Bone his car.” Steve was crying now. “And I left him there. I didn’t even help! I feel like this is my second chance, Max. I won’t let him again, I don’t care about what the kids think, or Hopper or anyone else. I’m going to make this right.” 

Max got up, walked to the other side of the bed and gave hugged Steve as strong as she could. 

“It’s good to have someone who understands.” She said in his ear and he couldn’t agree more. 


	8. Reunions II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one got way longer than I planned, but what can I do?

8 days. It has been 8 days since the beginning of the symptoms. The first days were easier compared to the peak. The shivering, fever, puke and occasional seizures were simple to handle, especially for Joyce that raised two kids by herself. But the thrashing around, the hallucinations were almost unbearable. 

On day 5, Hopper needed tie Billy on the bed, trying to avoid that he hurt himself as he kept yelling in a language no one could really understand. A few hours later he would cry talking to his mom or dad. 

During all the moments Steve and Max were there, as close as possible. They were kicked out of the room on day 4 but that didn’t stop them from sleeping on the hallway in front of the closed door. 

On day 7, Billy seemed lucid for the first time. He asked for water and what he had done. Joyce reassured him that he mostly laid in bed suffering, what made him smile a little. 

Now, he left the room for the first time. It was early morning when he woke up and a noise coming from his stomach showed how it was protesting against the small amount of food he had eaten in the last few days. Slowly he turned around, trying his hardest not to get dizzy, and carefully, he put his feet on the ground, feeling his body shiver as it touched to cold floor for the first time in a week. 

He was wearing an old faded blue shirt that was almost short for him, and as he lifted his head up and started to walk towards the door, he thought that he should ask someone what had happened to his belongings. 

Opening the door, in front of it he saw Steve sitting in the hallway. His legs were spread and his head were hanging from his neck, small snores coming out of him. The position looked as uncomfortable as it could. 

Billy made his way to him, sitting in front of the other boy, gently stroking his thumb over Steve’s cheeks until he saw the eyelids open and the brunette started to make sense of what was happening. His gaze were on the floor and when he looked at Billy, for a second the blonde swore Steve was confused about what was happening. 

“Hi.” Billy said. 

The confusion in eyes turned to worry faster as ever. 

“What are you doing out of bed?” Steve tried to move his head was too fast what caused him hiss and touch his shoulder.

“Wry neck?” 

“No… I just slept in a bad position.” Steve explained. 

“How long are you here?” 

“A few hours.” Steve spoke in the most nonchalant that he could manage, really trying no to let it out that he and Max were taking turns sleeping at Billy’s front door, so they would get as fast as they could if something happened. 

Billy tried not to roll his eyes. He stood up almost too fast, seeing some dark spots forming in his vision because of the movement, but he pretended everything was fine and reached out, helping Steve do the same. The blond could help but notice how Steve kept massaging his neck. 

They made it to the kitchen and Billy searched the fridge for something to eat, finding eggs and saying  _ “good enough”  _ in a small breath. Steve was sitting in the table watching every single move he made. 

“How are you feeling?” Steve asked once Billy was in front of the stove. 

“Been worse.”

“Billy, for real-” Steve voice sounded annoyed now. 

“Well, I’m starving now, really starving. And I feel dirty as if I have dirt all over my skin, but I’m going to take care of that as soon as I eat.” He looked at Steve. “Feel free to join in.” He winked. 

“Yeah… You’re three toothbrushes of getting me kiss you.” 

Billy couldn’t help but laugh at it. 

“Everybody knows.” Steve said once Billy laugh was over. In the moment he could feel the tension setting in the room. “They all kinda took it well, all things considered.” 

Billy kept focused on his food, but he could feel Steve’s eyes burning his back, waiting for him to scream, to fight, to say how much he has ruined everything. And it took Billy by surprise how much it didn’t affect him, as if everybody knowing he was gay and dating Steve were nothing important. 

“I couldn’t care less.” 

He said nonchalant. No anger, no hurt or worry. 

“Really? Because the last time I tried to tell someone-”

“Last time you tried to tell someone I had not been possessed and then kept prisoner.” Billy after he turned around to stare at Steve who could only nod. He said it fast, not mad, just wanting to end the topic as soon as he could. 

He turned off the stove, searched for a plate and once his scrambled eggs were on it, he sat in front of Steve that looked like a child that had just been yelled at by his parents. 

“Your kids took it well?” Billy asked after he put a huge amount of food in his mouth, trying to light the mood. 

“Don’t do that it’s disgusting. And yeah, Max kinda knew it already - Yeah I know who would’ve thought?.” He added up once Billy raised his eyebrows at the information. “Dustin… Didn’t really speak to me, but I’m going to give him a little time…” 

“Really? How are you?” 

Steve looked surprised at the question. 

“What? I’m fine-” 

“The boy you considered your little brother is not speaking with you and you are fine?” 

“Yeah… I didn’t have time to think about it.” 

“Then do it now.” Billy ordered. “I’m feeling way better, radio him or something. Take him to ice cream and explain to him.” 

“What-” 

“I’m not gonna vanish if you go a few hours, you know?” Billy said with a little smirk on his face. 

“I know. But-” Steve tried to argue but seeing the look the other boy gave him, he decided to shut up and face his fate. “I’m gonna go in a few hours, he still probably asleep. But y’know I don’t think he gonna hate me or something, it’s just...” 

Steve’s voice started to disappear and Billy’s whole world got out of focus, the only thing he could see crystal clear was the redhead girl that was wiping sleep out of her eyes. When her eyes caught his, for a moment Billy swore his heart stopped. 

Billy and Max stared at each other for a while, he tried to think about something to say, but his mind had stopped working. Max took a step closer and Billy took that as a cue to get out of the chair. Steve watched the scene unfold and decided to go to the living room, giving the siblings privacy. 

When they were close enough, they hugged. Billy did not cry this time, feeling like all the tears he had were already used up, but that doesn’t mean that he didn’t hug her as tight as he could, trying to ease the pain in his chest. Max, on the other hand, buried her head in his chest, and he could feel the tears watering his shirt, but he couldn’t care less. 

He couldn’t speak and in a second his mind took him back to the sauna, when his insides were burning and Max was telling him that she believed in him, that she would help him. When he was brought back, he lifted Max chin up and made her already red and puffy eyes met his, tears still rolling. 

“Thank you.” He quietly said to her. 

She hid her face again and said something he couldn’t understand. 

“I couldn’t hear you.” 

“You got killed and I did nothing.”  
The now usual feeling of his heart being stabbed got him again and he decided to made Max look into his eyes once again. 

“You were the only who didn’t let me die alone. That means the world to me.” 

It actually seemed to make a little of her guilty to go away and she could actually face him on her own. They hugged for a while longer until Max broke it. 

“You are skinnier.” 

“Humhum, trying a new diet. Did you like it?”

It made her crack a smile. 

“Max.” He said in the most serious voice he could do. “I never told you that, but I love you, ok?” 

She nodded. 

“I love you too. And I missed you a lot.”

This time he nodded. He wanted to ask her about what happened once he was “dead”, if his dad missed him. Who came to his funeral, who cried. But he was honestly afraid of the answer, what if his dad was happier now? What if his funeral were only Max? He didn’t have any friends in Hawkings. Someone told his friend in L.A that he was dead? 

“Max...I was thinking if there were still some things of mine at-”  _ home?  _ It wasn’t his home long before it all happened, so it sounded wrong to call it home. “At the house?”  _ Better,  _ he thought to himself. 

Max looked at the ground, letting her hair to hide her face. 

“Neil packed it all and gave it to goodwill.” 

“Oh…” He didn’t expect it to hurt that much, he knew that there was no point in keeping his dead son’s clothes, but it still pained him to know that all the things he loved, his favorite shirts, his jeans, everything now belonged to someone else. 

“It took awhile for him to give it away.” Max said fast, as if she was trying to make him feel better. “I think a month or two. After- After the mall he used to go to your room and just stay there.” 

Billy looked surprised at that, but Max face was still hid. So he imagined that Neil wouldn’t go there to cry or anything, as a matter of fact, he could actually see his father standing in the middle of the room mad, arms crossed, annoyed that his son let himself be killed. 

“What was the cover story?” He spoke fast enough that his mind couldn’t stop him. 

“A fire in the mall. You saved me and my friends, but didn’t make it.” 

Well, that was a great lie although he thought that if someone knew he, they probably wouldn’t believe in that. _ “Billy hanging out with some kids?” _ He could hear people doubting the story, specially his father. 

“Did they hurt you a lot?” Max asked him out of the blue when he was still getting his thoughts around. 

“No.” He was never a good liar, his dad always made sure he knew that, but now he was trying his best, although he could see that Max wasn’t buying it. “In the beginning yeah, but after I learned the rules it stopped.” 

She nodded. 

“They sold the Camaro.” She said in a small voice, hoping that he couldn’t hear. 

“Thank god.” He smiled when she looked surprised at him. “Don’t get me wrong, but I want nothing to do with that car anymore.” 

Everything that had gone wrong started in that car, maybe it was cursed or something and the good times in it were so few that were easy to be forgotten, and now he was almost sad to say that knowing it was gone made him relief. 

That was when Hopper appeared in the kitchen, as everyone else he was surprised to see Billy out of bed and having breakfast. He said morning, asked Billy if he had made coffee and when the boy said eyes, Hopper smiled. 

A mug of coffee in hands, Hopper sat across the table from Billy. 

“Now that you are feeling better I gotta talk to you.” The older man said. 

Max looked as worried as she could get, all the worst scenarios running in her head as she watched Billy reaction, it hurt her that he only looked resigned. 


	9. Coming out

As Billy, Max and Hopper sat on the kitchen table, everyone looking tense, Steve decided it was time for him to face his fears. He walked out of the living room and interrupted the conversation that was happening.

“Hi-hello” He spoke and then everyone’s eyes were on him. “I’m gonna solve...Something…” He said looking at directly at Billy. “I’m gonna be back in a few.” 

He walked out of the Byers’s house and felt the fresh morning in his face, he took a deep breath before walking into the car driving to the Henderson’s. 

Trees, houses, and people passed by him as he drove thinking about how he should start the conversation. Should he apologize? What for? His thoughts were so loud that he almost ran a red light. Hitting the breaks, his whole body jerked front and the pain in his neck got worse.  _ I will never sleep on the floor again.  _ He swore to himself. 

When he arrived at the Henderson’s his heart were beating so loud that he thought it could be heard by the whole neighborhood. He walked out of the car, checking the windows to see if he saw any movement inside, when he saw a curly figure on the kitchen he couldn’t decide if he was glad or worry. 

He knocked on the door and waited for someone to open it up. When Mrs. Henderson opened up he tried to calm down a little bit. 

“Stevie! What are you doing here so early?” She spoke to him with a smile on her face, holding the cat on her arms. 

“I need to talk to Dustin…” He spoke trying to make his voice smaller. 

“DUSTIN! Steve is here.” She screamed. After that he only heard a door slamming hard. 

He sighed and Mrs. Henderson looked confused as ever. 

“Can I…” She didn’t let him finish and stepped out of the door, letting him in. 

He walked towards Dustin bedroom’s door and knocked on it. There we no answer, he tried again asking Dustin to  _ please, open the door.  _ From inside of the room he could hear a small  _ it’s open.  _

He turned the doorknob and walking inside of the room, to see Dustin sitting on the floor, beside his bed, knees up, playing with some action figure he couldn’t really identify. Steve sat beside him, not really knowing what to say for a while. 

“I wanted to talk to you for a while now…”

“It took you a week.” Dustin said looking at ground, his voice was filled with some kind of anger and disappointment that Steve couldn’t really put his finger on. 

“Come on, man! Please don’t do this.” Steve begged. 

“You lied to me, Steve. How could you do this? You were my best friend!”

“Hey, hey, hey man. I’m your best friend, don’t do this to us, ok?” Steve got on his knees and positioned himself in front of Dustin. “I know I should’ve told you but I was scared.” 

“Of what? Of me not accepting you? I thought you knew me better than this.” Dustin now had tears in eyes and Steve could see it even though he was trying to hide it. 

There was a moment of silence in the room. 

“When Billy was in California he was beaten by these guys just cause he was holding hands with a boy he was seeing back in the day. The police came when they saw him almost unconscious on the pavement and Billy thought they were going to save him, help him, but once the police found out he was been beaten because he was gay, the police officer turned his back on him and let the guys continue.” Steve heart was breaking remembering how hurt Billy was when he told this story to him. “They put him on a hospital, where he had to lie about what happened, because if he told the truth his dad would’ve finished the job.” 

“The whole world is telling me what I’m doing with him is wrong, even though they don’t know about it. People say that we’ll burn in hell and that once people find out they will turn their backs on us, that I don’t deserve to have the same rights as everyone else” Steve was crying now. “You guys…  **You** are one of the most important people in the world to me, I’ve been alone for so long and just the thought of you turning your back on me hurts. So please, don’t do this.” 

By the end of it his voice was breaking and his whole body was shaking.

Dustin looked at him for the first time, he looked how honest Steve was being about all this. 

“How did you started dating the boy who almost killed you?” Dustin asked with a small voice, but with way less anger. 

“You remember the snowball dance?” Dustin nodded. “So after I dropped you, I saw the Camaro and he saw me too. He kinda didn’t let me drive to point I had to walk off of the car and yell at him.” Dustin let out a small laugh. “So, he apologized and he actually meant it.” 

“And just like that you started to date him?” 

“No… He kissed me when we were getting drunk once and I kinda flipped. Punched him and kicked him out of the house.” Steve said ashamed of himself for what he did. During their relationship Billy never forgive himself for that night at Byers as well as Steve never did for his reaction. 

“When was it?” 

“Close to New Year’s eve.” Looking at Dustin he decided to continue. “After that I couldn’t keep him out of my head. And I need a while to come to terms that I was liking Billy, a boy. When a month after that I was heartbroken about Nancy.” 

“All that by yourself?” Dustin sounded hurt now. 

“Yeah…” 

“You could’ve told me.” 

“I know.” Steve looks him in the eyes. “I know, Dustin, believe me. But I was so scared…” 

“So what happened later?” 

“I went to his house, he was kinda mad at me for going to his house… And we talked.” 

_ They were sitting in Steve’s car in the middle of the woods, the january winter colored everything white outside, and the cold air was getting into the car even though the heat was on. Billy was shivering beside Steve, but refused a coat or anything from Steve. He looked almost pissed, kept his head towards the window, not facing Steve. When the brunette was finally brave enough to talk, Billy closed his eyes.  _

_ “I’m sorry.” Steve waited for a reaction, but got none. “I’m so sorry I freaked out, but you gotta understand that I wasn’t prepared for it. I never thought about doing… kissing other boys, let alone liking it.”  _

_ “You punched me. You threw me to the street like some dog-” Billy said still looking at the woods.  _

_ “I’m sorry. Truly.”  _

_ That was silence.  _

_ “You want to try again?” Steve said and his heart jumped off his chest. He doesn’t really know how long it took for Billy to look at him, but for him, it felt like an eternity.  _

_ “I’m not your little experiment, Harrington. I’m not your free trial period, I’m not gonna let you use me just to throw me out once you find out it was just a phase, the thrill of the moment.” Billy words were so full of anger that it wounded Steve. _

_ “That’s not what I want.” Billy looked into his eyes for the first time. “I promise.” Steve added.  _

“So that’s how he kinda started dating.” Steve finished. 

“Were you...Were you together when he died?” Dustin asked, almost unsure, something Steve thought would never see Dustin be. 

“Yeah.” Steve hang his head once again. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“You got nothing to be sorry for.” 

“Your boyfriend died and you went through it alone.” 

Steve opened his arms and once Dustin collided against him, he hugged the boy as tight as he could. They stood there for a while and Steve felt like he had his little brother back. 


	10. Ground Rules

Hopper was already sounding annoyed in the moment he sat on the chair, every feature in his body said that he didn’t want to be having this conversation, that he would rather be anywhere else but in the kitchen’s table, looking at Billy Hargrove and Max Mayfield in front of him. 

“Billy” His voice was deep, but not annoyed as his face looked like. “Now that you’re better we need to establish some things.“

If Billy had a little more time, he would’ve thought that this moment was coming. Nothing comes without a price and it wasn’t like what happened to him was normal, that he didn’t have to face the consequences to his actions. 

“Are you going to arrest me?” Billy said in a whisper, like the words weren’t meant to come out. As if his thoughts were way too much for his brain and needed to be let out in the real world. He couldn’t look at anyone, not at Max or Hopper and see the disappointment in them, see how they knew what he did and what he was capable of doing. 

“What for?” Hopper asked and his voice, sounded confused.

It make Billy smile. The people that he took to the Mind Flyer were surrounding the side of his vision, some were glad that they were finally getting justice. Heather were quiet, eyes cold and dead staring at him. Billy struggled and shook the off. 

“The people I killed?” Billy’s eyes faced the chief for the first time. The blue eyes were filled with anger, shame and guilt. 

Max, who was staring at Billy as if she couldn’t understand what was coming out of his mouth, shrunk a little in the chair. She held his hand a little bit tighter. 

“Come on! It’s not like I didn’t know it was coming.” He gave Max a little smile. “You don’t need to cuff me, I’ll go without a fight, ok?” 

“No! Damn! Of course not!” Hopper looked at him wide eyed.

“Oh” Was the only sound Billy could make. Maybe Hopper was still thinking the only victims he had made were the ones during the time he was possessed by the Mind Flayer, that he didn’t kill people conscious he was doing it. That it made him feel good when he took control of the russian guy that always beat him for no reason point his own the gun at his own head and fire it. He really should be in jail right now, because it still made him feel good. 

“I wanted to talk to you about your future.” Hopper voice cut his line of thought. “You can stay here as long as you want, but you have to understand that, for everyone else, you died.” 

It made Billy really laugh now. “I’m aware, Chief.”

“I don’t think you are. Outside of this house you’re seven feet deep under the ground. Resting after we had a funeral and your dad said some nice words about.” Billy couldn’t really believe that happened but he let it go. “People came. People heard about it and said “I’m sorry” to Max. Which means that you can’t just go walking down the street, been seen or anything like this. Do you understand me?”

“What?” Billy’s voice was high and he almost yelled in disbelief. His hand let go out Max’s and he his chair went a little back. “No! I don’t understand how you’re saying that I just left a cell for another.” 

“It’s not what he’s saying, Billy.” Max tried to calm him down. 

“No!” Billy was clearly nervous now. “I’m not going to be in here. You can’t tie me down.”

As he said this words he looked at the terrified look Max was giving him and how Hopper was massassing his forehead, as if he had a headache. Suddenly the reality hit him, he couldn’t lash out. He couldn’t do that kinda things anymore, it wasn’t just his fist anymore, it was whatever they put inside him, or whatever was left of  _ it.  _

Max’s eyes were still burning him, screaming that he was a monster. So he decided to calm down looking at her, trying to follow her breathes. 

“Billy, what I meant was- You need to be careful. You can’t do what you did before. You can’t walk into a room and be the center of attention, that won’t work anymore. “ Hopper said in a raspy voice now. “We don’t have a cover story. We can NOT explain how a boy that died in a fire is back in town.” 

That made Billy swallowed hard.

“So what’s the plan?” Billy said looking at ground. 

“You stay here until we come up with a cover story of how you’re back. Sounds good?” 

“No.” Billy stared at Hopper’s eyes. “I’m… I still haven’t thought about it, but before it all started I was planning on leaving Hawkings, I don’t see why not to do it now.” 

Max backed off a little. She looked at him with a hurt look on her face, her eyes were still red and already filling back with tears, but now her face looked mad. Pissed. 

“What?” She said. Her voice loud. 

“I haven’t thought about it, Max” Billy almost rolled his eyes. 

“You clearly didn’t! I JUST GOT YOU BACK YOU CAN’T LEAVE!” 

“What future do I have in Hawkings? I’m dead, Max. DEAD. Everyone knows, everyone saw, Hopper just said it. I won’t be able to escape it here.” He raised his voice a little, not of anger, just tried to make himself heard. “That night will always define me, Max. I can’t do it.” 

Hopper watched it unfold, massassing the bridge of his nose. 

“Can’t you two yell about it some other time?” Hopper said. 

Billy looked at the ground. 

“Steve has an apartment for himself. You could live with him.” Max small voice came from his side. 

He smiled at her. 

“I think I need to talk to Steve first, Max” 

“We’re not kicking you out.” Hopper said. “And we’re not done yet!” 

Billy took a deep breath. 

“I have a friend. Owens, you need to talk to him. That’s not negotiable.” Hopper glared at him. “He’s a doctor, he’ll know how to help you.” 

‘I’m fine.” 

“You’re not fine, Billy. I doubt that you’ve been fine for a long time.” Hopper tried to calm himself down. “You got there, in his lab, once a week. Talk to him, let him check you out and then come home, sounds good?”

“Lab?” Just the word send shivers down Billy’s spine. 

“He’s one of the good guys. I trust him with my life.” 

So Billy nodded. He knew it was a losing battle. His head went low again and Max awkwardly tried to hug him by putting one arm around his torso and her head in his torso. Billy hugged her as well.

“Good talk.” Hopper said before getting up and announcing he was going to work, leaving Billy and Max sitting in silence, trying to digest the words that Hopper had just said. 

In Billy’s mind the thought of being dead wasn’t so bad. Maybe he could start again somewhere else, take Steve with him, do a bedroom for Max and have it waiting for her ‘til she turns 18, have a side in their bed. Not more sneaking around, no more Hawkings’ monsters. Chicago was close enough. Safe enough. It was a good plan, just needed to be put in action. 


	11. Would you run away with me?

Steve had spent the entire day with Dustin making up for the lost time. They were out to buy things that Dustin needed for a new communicator, then Steve tried to help him build it. It was awkward for Steve how in some ways Dustin was more mature than him, he couldn’t really talk to Dustin as an equal, because the kid always sounded older and wiser than him. But still, spending time with Dustin was one of his favorite things in the world, he liked so much that he didn’t realize it was already getting dark outside. 

So he said his goodbyes and drove to the Byers, finding Billy sitting on the porch. He looked like he had showered, cigarette between his fingers and as he threw his head back, Steve could see the smoke coming out of him mixing up with the night's mist.

“Hey” Steve said leaning on one of the columns. 

“Things went well?” Billy said, still with his head back, facing the ceiling. 

“Yeah. Better than expected.” 

“I’m happy for you.” 

There were a moment of silence and Steve could feel the heaviness of the words unsaid laying on them, almost crushing his chest and making it hard to breathe.

“You want to tell me something?” 

Billy took a long breath and looked him in the eye for the first time. 

“I’m leaving Hawkings.” 

Steve felt like he couldn’t breathe. Like all the air was sucked from earth. 

“What?” 

“Ste-” Billy’s eyes were shining from the tears that were forming. 

“Don’t Stevie me! What do you mean you’re leaving?” He was shouting now,even if he hadn't noticed. 

“I talked to Hopper this morning-”

“He can’t make you leave!” 

“LISTEN TO ME!” Billy got up from the chair in a jump and in seconds he was face to face with Steve. “I talked to Hopper and he said some truths to me. I don’t have a future here. I never did. You know that.”

“But you can’t just leave.” 

“I can’t stay either.” 

Steve knew Billy was right, knew things would never go back to normal and that Billy was doing what was best, but it still hurt more than Steve could ever express. 

“Steve, I died. For everyone else I’m dead, I can’t go back on the streets and have people facing me-” 

“We can come up with some cover story-”

“I CAN’T!” He screamed in frustration and, by reflex,Steve took a step back. “Baby” Now Billy’s voice was calmer and deeper as if he was trying to make a little kid understand a math problem. “I killed people. Let me continue, please. I walked these streets taking people to their deaths. I can’t stand to be here! Every single minute it feels like I might go back, I might lose it. I see the people I killed surrounding me, haunting me and I can’t-” 

“It wasn’t you.” 

“You know it was.” The silence fell on them again. “It would’ve been easier to die, but I’m alive now and I want to enjoy every single minute of it. I want to go out, I don’t want to live in fear. I want a future.” 

Steve understood in that moment that there was no way he was going to be so selfish to the point of robbing Billy from his plans, hopes and dreams of a better life. That his boyfriend story in Hawkings was over, he was as good as whatever they buried in his place to everyone else. 

“Do you love me?.” 

That took Steve by surprise. 

“Of course I do!” 

“Do you want me to be happy?” And Billy felt his heart racing on his chest. 

“Come on-”

“Do you want me to be happy?” 

“Of course I do.” 

“The come with me.” 

Steve couldn’t tell how he felt about it. All his feelings were mixing themselves in his chest, anxiety, happiness, sadness, everything was turning into one big pain coming from the center of his chest. He held Billy gaze up and the other boy could not ready the look on his face. 

_ “Oh.”  _ Was all that came out of Billy’s mouth. When he had this conversation in his head, Steve would try to make him stay, beg for him to stay and once he asked for him to follow, he would’ve have a huge smile on his face, he would’ve nod and with happy tears in his eyes he would’ve said “of course”. Now, in Steve’s face was only confusion and an almost blank stare. 

He had spent months being tortured and experimented on, still the pain in his heart as he faced Steve’s rejection were the thing that he actually made him wish he was killed on that night in the mall. So he nodded to Steve that was still quiet and started to make his way inside the house. 

“Wait.” Steve said as he grabbed Billy’s hands. “Just wait.” 

Billy turned around and face Steve, his blank stare now turned into something Billy couldn’t quite put his fingers on. 

“I just-” Steve started, but was still trying to find the end of his sentence. “I’ve lived my whole life here, all my world has been Hawkings. You know that. You can’t ask me to leave it all behind and expect me to answer without thinking.” 

“I thought you loved me more than this-” 

“Come on… Don’t play dirty- I just need some time. Okay?” 

Billy knew he and Steve were on the same team, but just thinking about Steve rejecting him was worse than anything else. Still, he nodded. 

Steve came closer and kissed him, hand touching his face now and Billy felt his throat tightening. Once they broke the kiss, their gaze met for a long time and Billy felt exhausted, to happenings of the day now were catching up to him. 

“I need some sleep.” 

So with a nod, they said their goodbyes and Steve head home. Mind racing and he drove on autopilot to his one bedroom apartment. 

He fell on his bed, facing the ceiling in the dark with an old and known feeling in his heart. So he closed his eyes and let his thoughts race. In a minute he was taken back to StarCourt. 

_ The Mind Flayer had died and succumbed in the floor, just like Billy did. Max was sobbing on her brother’s chest and Eleven were being held by Mike, he watched it all from afar, as if he didn’t have control of his body. _

_ “Holy shit! I think Billy is dead!” Robin had said beside him.  _

_ He wasn’t able to answer her, instead, he slowly walked towards Max’s voice. In the same moment men with guns invaded the mall, but he couldn’t care less. He kept walking towards Billy, when he came closer he stopped and watched as people pulled Max away. She was screaming, kicking and protesting as they were touching Billy and analysing his body.  _

_ Steve wanted to scream, to them to stop, but all he did was stand still and watch. Later he found out he was in shock, but it still didn’t make the fact that he didn’t have a goodbye, a final word hurt less.  _

_ Now the memory changed and he was coming home from the hospital with his parents, he still didn’t say a word and even though they wanted to know how he got a black eye from a fire, they had dropped it for now, giving Steve enough space to take a shower and go to his room.  _

_ Once the door was closed, he let himself fall apart in the cold title of his bathroom. He felt his chest being torn apart and his heart ripped, So he ripped his uniform and threw it as far as his could. Sorrow washed over him as he wept, sobbed and tried to catch his breath, all at the same time. He hit himself thinking about all he could’ve done to help, to change the outcome but he didn’t. He blamed himself, the kids, the russians, Hopper, God, everyone.  _

_ Now he remembered Billy’s funeral. All around the town people were burying empty caskets and he would never have thought he was one of these people. He was standing up it, with a black suit a little far from Billy’s family. He spent the entire thing watching Neil Hargrove. The man didn’t shed a tear but still had the audacity to look sad, as if he was suffering. When it was over, Steve just turned his back and walked to his car.  _

_ He remembered how people didn’t understand why he was so sad all the time. Robin had been more preoccupied than usual, she would always come and check on him and she could tell there was more to it than a concussion. One night she told him “it will lessen with time.” But sorrow and loss were a constant, and he honestly couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t feel like this. It was like everyday he was losing Billy all over again.  _

_ In the mornings, he would wake up and reach for him and he just wouldn’t be there, felt like a knife in his heart. Still, he slowly grew accustomed to the fact that side of the bed would always be empty.  _

_ He never stopped loving or missing Billy, he only grew accustomed to his absence.  _

Back in the present, he was sobbing on his bed, just remembering what it felt like losing Billy. He couldn’t go through that again. Not caring about the time, he picked his phone and called the Byers. 

A worried Joyce picked up and then passed it to Billy. 

“Yes. I will leave with you.”


End file.
